What to do if you find yourself in a Dead-end Relationship and still Stay?

Hi everyone- I thought I would talk about this inspirational quote by Iyanla Vansant. I can resonate with this in my own personal life as leaving the legal profession was a massive decision. I kept thinking of all the investment in time, money and exams – which kept me stuck in the same job, until things got so bad, that I eventually moved on. So, why do we do that? Mine was a well-needed career change, but what if you find yourself in a dead-end relationship and still stay? Clients often say to me, “I can’t give it up because I have already put in four years and I have to make it work”
This is known as a ‘Sunk Cost’ and I think we are all guilty of this – take a look at that dress in your cupboard, the one you’ve had for years, the one you can’t give away – even though it doesn’t fit anymore. I know someone who couldn’t part with their old designer clothes in the hope that their children would wear them one day! So, if you recognize any of this in yourself then you may be someone who is trying to recover your investment, by holding onto it, even though it’s no longer working. Even rats appear smarter than humans as they quickly learn to look somewhere else for rewards whereas humans appear to reflect on their past thinking, past emotions and past decision making. The brain and memory think in patterns so it’s trying to make ‘sense’ of it all by using reference to the past, and then using this to justify future decisions. Myths also keep us stuck like ‘relationships should last forever’ as well as family expectations, cultural pressures, and the stigma of being single. I’m not advocating that people rush out and file for divorce or closets get raided. Every relationship needs the careful non-judgemental perspectives of a professional to make safe and conscious decisions that is individually right for them. But this is an interesting concept and an anecdotal blog that may be useful for couples who feel stuck and are no longer growing together. They can then go on to question themselves and consider if they lost that dress, would they go out and buy another one? If they were deciding to get into that relationship again, would they make the same decision? If your best friend was in the same position would you advise them to stay or leave.
It’s a bit like if you were waiting in a queue for a club or cinema for 2 hours to find out that it’s going to be another 3 hours wait. Would you stay? The two hours you spent is exactly that. Its ‘spent time’ and in the past. You can move on from the ‘sunk cost’ and consider what you do now - in the moment, which will enhance your future and help you grow.