Many clients who come to me have already tried and been unsuccessful within the ‘traditional couples therapy route.’ This is because individuals don’t necessarily tell the real truth in the presence of their partner…
Even if you are now the best version of yourself, there is still work to be done as relationships can still be complicated. Sometimes the marriage is placed on auto pilot for many years as couples get lost in their busy lives only to find they have become resentful and disconnected. …
Sometimes life throws a curveball and we feel stuck. If you are finding it difficult moving on from divorce, healing heartbreak, coming back from betrayal, realising your marriage is unhealthy with patterns of co-dependency and abuse…
INDIVIDUAL VS COUPLES THERAPY
Many clients who come to me have already tried and been unsuccessful within the ‘traditional couples therapy route.’ This is because individuals don’t necessarily tell the real truth in the presence of their partner. And even though we are in adult bodies, when we are ‘emotionally triggered’ most of us respond by blaming the other for the way we feel. We judge according to ‘our’ set of rules, sometimes ‘acting out a script’ of anger, silent treatment, fear and neediness; or giving in because we want our partner to be okay. These learned responses were probably picked up as a child and may be best dealt with individually, after which couples therapy is more effective.
UNCONSCIOUS PROGRAMMING & PATTERNS
Emotional problems such as depression, low self- esteem, addiction, having poor parental role models, or traumas from a previous toxic relationship, will inevitably affect your mood, behaviour and actions with those around you. These are also harder to change on a conscious level. To explain this, have you ever tried to stop outbursts of anger by will power alone; tried really hard not to fear spiders if you have a phobia; or quit smoking just like that? The answer is no, because you cant just stop being anxious, and switch emotions ‘off’ like a tap. Some problems are lodged on a deeper unconscious level. So, you may have an unconscious reason for dating the same type of person. You may have unconscious patterns of behaviour that cause problems or break- ups in your relationships.
HYPNOTHERAPY & BEYOND
Clinical Hypnotherapy with a qualified therapist has been proven as an effective and safe way to tap into your natural resources giving you more control when you are emotionally dysregulated, or ‘flooded.’ Read the section on Hypnotherapy for more details, but if you’re still unsure, I use an extensive and flexible multi-modality approach of therapies, including: CBT, (also known as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) and Parts Therapy & Mindfulness. Individuals are unique and therefore having a combination of different tools and techniques within 4- 6 sessions can change these individual issues, so you can take control of the person you really are, to move forward in your life and relationships.
Even if you are now the best version of yourself, there is still work to be done as relationships can still be complicated. Sometimes the marriage is placed on auto pilot for many years as couples get lost in their busy lives only to find they have become resentful and disconnected. Firstly, I help you identify whether you are simply stuck in bad communication habits or whether there really is an unhealthy pattern of co-dependency or abuse.
My work then involves practical strategies and steps to show you how to place a structure within the relationship, really hear what the other is saying rather than listening just to respond, in fact we stop listening when we become upset; learning to navigate around each other’s triggers instead of poking them and communicating to get your needs met, but without blame, judgement, control or silent treatment.
The strategic and evidenced based techniques including the Gottoman Theory are based on scientific research and proven effective in reducing conflict in the home, increasing respect and affection for one another, and reigniting the spark that once made you good as a couple.
It may be the case that only one partner has real concerns about the relationship whilst the other doesn’t agree or hasn’t caught up. I still encourage seeing you even if your partner doesn’t attend – the shift in one party can have a significant impact on the dynamic at home.
Sometimes life throws a curveball and we feel stuck. If you are finding it difficult moving on from divorce, healing heartbreak, coming back from betrayal, realising your marriage is unhealthy with patterns of co-dependency and abuse; the death of a loved one, or loss of health - it’s vital to seek therapy which isn’t for the ‘weak’ or for those who have ‘failed’, but to get you through these tricky transitions in life.
The tools used here are not only traditional counselling and talking therapies but cognitive therapy which changes how you think of these past events, learning to trust again, reframing any negative self-talk, giving you clarity, objectivity and most importantly lifting your sense of self. Mindfulness brings you back into the present time and away from flashbacks, past hurt and depression, whilst hypnotherapy can help you relax as you let go of any unconscious fears, trauma, resentment, and emotional pain.
Read Reviews from Clients just like you
I would like to deeply thank Anita for the wonderful work she has done. I had my first session in January 2020 and went on to meet my now husband in July, only 6 months later.
Her sessions really helped me identify what was causing ‘the block’ in finding a partner and she showed me the patterns I was repeating in several relationships. I would highly recommend working with Anita. she helped me to work on myself which meant putting me first, for a change.!
Other people including family and friends will always give their advice, based on culture and expectations - about what they think is right for you, but listening to them sent me round in circles. In my opinion it’s worth seeking professional and unbiased support to get to the root cause, which I found gave me much needed clarity.
I’m now happily married, and I definitely credit her sessions as a stepping stone to this positive result in my life.
S.SI came to see Anita for sleep problems but uncovered overthinking, fear of judgement and perfectionist habits, that I was completely unaware of, but was affecting my whole life. Anita helped me to understand how this can happen, but also how to deal with too many negative thoughts. Hypnotherapy, CBT and Mindfulness helped me focus back into the moment rather than constantly worrying about the future.
Anon
